My meditation sitting didn’t go as planned this morning. I went into it feeling sort of blue, hoping to visit the tranquil center of my soul, but then Monkey Mind invaded my thinking. I taped my brain waves during this morning’s session and this is how it went. Please realize that Monkey Mind isn’t me. I don’t know who he is.
Monkey Mind: “So, why so glum chum? What’s the prob today? Something always seems to be bothering you. Aren’t you ever happy?”
Me: “Nothing’s wrong. I’m not supposed to be talking to you.”
Monkey Mind: “Aw… you’re confused and stuck, blue and bloated. Well, hells bells it sucks to be you. Have another banana and take one for the monkey.”
Me: “I am not my thoughts. I am the silence behind the thoughts—the lean back and breathe, the soft in the center.”
Monkey Mind: “Blubber tastes delicious to old-fashioned Eskimos but not to me. It’s too…blubbery. Lots of things on this planet are gross. I knew that life was going to be a bitch when I got slapped on the ass for showing up.”
Me: “Who said that?”
Monkey Mind: “I did.”
Me: “Who are you?”
Monkey Mind: “I don’t know, but I’m not you so relax. “
Me & Monkey Mind: “This is weird…me not being my thoughts. It makes me wonder…. Or is it someone else wondering? Hmmm.”
Monkey Mind: “There’s going to be a flogging at the village square—a tar and feathering—guilty guilty.”
Me: “Stand by the edge of the river and observe your thoughts floating by. Don’t let them distract you. They are not you.”
Monkey Mind: “I gotta pee.”
Me: “Shhh! Who are you anyway?”
Monkey Mind: “Um. God.”
Me: “No you’re not. Shut up so I can meditate. Lean back and observe the thoughts flowing by. I am not my thoughts…. Oh screw it. I’m getting a cup of coffee. You coming?”
Monkey Mind: “You betcha! Loser.”
Me: “What did you call me?”
Monkey Mind: “Nothing. Remember when you used to pick pussy willows by that covered bridge, like that movie with hunky Clint Eastwood in it? Hey I just met you…here’s my number, so call me maybe…
Me: ”It’s going to be a long day.”
Because misery loves company I'm featuring this video today. My friend Beth planted it in my head yesterday, so I wanted to pay it forward:
