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Thursday, August 30, 2012

Monkey Mind Maybe

My meditation sitting didn’t go as planned this morning. I went into it feeling sort of blue, hoping to visit the tranquil center of my soul, but then Monkey Mind invaded my thinking. I taped my brain waves during this morning’s session and this is how it went. Please realize that Monkey Mind isn’t me. I don’t know who he is.

Monkey Mind: “So, why so glum chum? What’s the prob today? Something always seems to be bothering you. Aren’t you ever happy?”

Me: “Nothing’s wrong. I’m not supposed to be talking to you.”

Monkey Mind: “Aw… you’re confused and stuck, blue and bloated. Well, hells bells it sucks to be you. Have another banana and take one for the monkey.”

Me: “I am not my thoughts. I am the silence behind the thoughts—the lean back and breathe, the soft in the center.”

Monkey Mind: “Blubber tastes delicious to old-fashioned Eskimos but not to me. It’s too…blubbery. Lots of things on this planet are gross. I knew that life was going to be a bitch when I got slapped on the ass for showing up.”

Me: “Who said that?”

Monkey Mind: “I did.”

Me: “Who are you?”

Monkey Mind: “I don’t know, but I’m not you so relax. “

Me & Monkey Mind: “This is weird…me not being my thoughts. It makes me wonder…. Or is it someone else wondering? Hmmm.”

Monkey Mind: “There’s going to be a flogging at the village square—a tar and feathering—guilty guilty.”

Me: “Stand by the edge of the river and observe your thoughts floating by. Don’t let them distract you. They are not you.”

Monkey Mind: “I gotta pee.”

Me: “Shhh! Who are you anyway?”

Monkey Mind: “Um. God.”

Me: “No you’re not. Shut up so I can meditate. Lean back and observe the thoughts flowing by. I am not my thoughts…. Oh screw it. I’m getting a cup of coffee. You coming?”

Monkey Mind: “You betcha! Loser.”

Me: “What did you call me?”

Monkey Mind: “Nothing. Remember when you used to pick pussy willows by that covered bridge, like that movie with hunky Clint Eastwood in it? Hey I just met you…here’s my number, so call me maybe…

Me: ”It’s going to be a long day.”

Because misery loves company I'm featuring this video today. My friend Beth planted it in my head yesterday, so I wanted to pay it forward:

30 comments:

The Loerzels said...

I love you and Jimmy Fallon and that xylophone! And I've got some monkey mind of my own totally distracted from what I should be doing right now...

JANU said...

LOL...good one.

Martha J. M. Orlando said...

Oh, those insidious (sometimes) voices in our heads which distract us from our centers . . . Monkey Mind may be a "monkey on your back", but he certainly provided for some interesting and entertaining conversation here. Thanks for sharing, Leah!
Love to you!

PocketPerspectives,too said...

Monkey kept calling here too...oh those unsolicited calls!! I could use "call blocking" for that caller, that's for sure!

Lazy Pineapple said...

Oh I know exactly how that feels. I also get totally distracted during Pranayam. The breathing exercises give my mind an excuse to absolutely run amok..

Debra said...

At least your monkey mind is colorful and fun!
Mine doesn’t pretend to be God usually, but sometimes leads me down rabbit trails of ideas and gigs that might be of interest. Lots of diversions, anything but silence and centering.
Hey, I love your girl’s voice! That Cosette is SOME character. Though I hate what happened to her, I LOVE her! More later…

Karen Wojcik Berner said...

Your monkey mind is more fun than mine. I usually get a list of chores and errands...

Cheryl said...

God, that post is fun!!!! Loved it.

I saw that Jimmy Fallon bit when it aired on TV. I think it's really cute.

Leah Griffith said...

I love you too Marie because you're just as sick as I am;) Monkey Mind never quits. LOL!

Leah Griffith said...

Janu, it was fun writing it. A nice break from the serious.

Leah Griffith said...

Martha, my Monkey Mind is seriously demented. LOL!! Makes it more amusing to poke fun at myself. Sending love sister!

Leah Griffith said...

Lazy, that's why yoga and I don't mix very well. I do like the breathing but the Monkey Mind never quits.

Leah Griffith said...

Debra, my Monkey Mind has ADD! LOL!!
Glad you're enjoying the book. Cosette is something else;)

Leah Griffith said...

Karen, I have learned how to step away from those thoughts...chores ect, for the most part. It's all the other stuff that trips me up...seeps in through the crack under the door.

Leah Griffith said...

Cheryl, I'm glad my inability to find my holy center amuses you. See...nothing ever gets wasted! Bahhahaha! <----That wasn't me. That was Monkey Mind;)

Andy David said...

My lovely Leah,
Happy Saturday!
This was one crazy post! LOL
Come take your mind off your troubles by joining me at Blog Hop Saturday! Linky will open at 9:00EST & you may enter any 2 links. I'll even leave you some chocolate cake!(Hahaha) Hope you can make it!

Jayne said...

"I am the silence behind the thoughts—the lean back and breathe, the soft in the center.” Wow. That stopped me in my tracks!

Love this piece, Leah, and best pay it forward EVER! I love Jimmy Fallon, he's just hysterical to watch. This really picked my day right up, my mind, my body... Watch out Monkey Mind... I'm going out to play! :D

Leah Griffith said...

Jayne, I really am trying to get behind the noise and stay in that quiet loving place, but I'm convinced my Monkey Mind has ADD. LOL!! Perhaps I need to cut down on my coffee and diet coke. Nah! That 's way too extreme;)

Chris said...

Hi Leah,

Love your Monkey Mind :) But hey, what happened to your muse(s)???

I have conversations like this with the universe. Perhaps I ought to get of my high horse and call it a koala or a loris instead. That's way too many animals in one sentence. I always love how you have a sense of humor about things, and here is another infallible example.

Love,
Chris

Debbie Maxwell Allen said...

I love how Monkey Mind has his own distinct voice. To me, he sounds a little like the Joker.

~Debbie

Julia said...

This made me laugh and smile and bubble up with giggles inside, Leah. I love it...I love you and your monkey mind and all the soft inside. And, oh, how I can relate.

You are so easy to love.

These words...

"I am the silence behind the thoughts—the lean back and breathe, the soft in the center."

made my breath stop for a few seconds. Wow.

(((Love)))


melissa said...

Amusing Leah... it makes me wonder how many times it talks to me in a day ~ geez! When it pretended to be God ~ it reminded me of Jesus reprimanding Peter that he was a stumbling block...

Monkey mind, away from me...

Corinne @ Everyday Gyaan said...

Can I borrow your monkey sometime, Leah? S/he sure is amusing!
But seriously, it's amazing how crazy our mind can get when we want to focus, meditate and just be. Where do those thoughts come rushing from, I wonder too?
Thank you for another wonderful post, Leah. I have been off your blog for too long. And it's not because of the pay-it-forward music, I promise.
Love ~ Corinne

Leah Griffith said...

Chris! I've been thinking about you so much lately. I know you must be having an amazing trip. I've been out of the loop but plan on catching up this week. Till then....
Hugs,

Leah Griffith said...

Debbie, I don't think we ever silence Monkey Mind. The Joker is scary. LOL!

Leah Griffith said...

Hey Julia,
I love you too! It's been a weird summer. I feel so scattered and choppy. It must be Monkey Mind.
I've been enjoying your book. It always offers something wonderful to chew on...like a box of chocolates.
Love!!

Leah Griffith said...

Yes Melissa, Monkey Mind be gone! Throw a banana in the bushes...I bet he chases it! LOL!
Hugs sweetheart!

Leah Griffith said...

Corinne, I've been out of circuit this summer. Maybe that's normal for summer; I don't know. All I know is that life keeps changing and I feel like I'm running behind myself. Perhaps autumn will bring some stability and I can catch up with things.
Sending love. So glad for your visit.

Tameka said...

LOL! I've had so many of theses conversations. Thank goodness we truly are not our thoughts! I loved how you told Money Mind to mind his business! You go girl! :-)

Leah Griffith said...

Tameka, I know right! What a fricken relief;)

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