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Thursday, February 3, 2011

Finding Friends in a Hostile World


Over my lifetime I’ve had a series of friendships. As a young girl my two sisters were my best friends. We lived much like a happy litter of kittens, playing, eating, and sleeping together. We were exclusive and faithful to one another, keeping secrets, exploring the boundaries of obedience, and defending each other against neighborhood bullies.

As time progressed, so did our worlds, causing us to step outside of our intimate family circle in search of new friends with similar interests. Sometimes my choice of friends was unwise, choosing people with ulterior motives, and sharp teeth, used only for ripping and tearing. These malignant friends left me wounded and bleeding. But their wounds taught me how to choose friends more wisely. The scars still speak to me, reminding me of those lessons.

As an adult I have learned to read people, recognizing the red flags of dishonesty and negativity, and choosing to “opt out” of friendships with these types of people. Better to be peacefully alone then to be mixed up with contentious souls who enjoy stirring up undue drama.

I have also realized the benefit of having close friends who share their hearts honestly, and wear soft cottony gloves when handling my heart. These are friends who draw near when I’m vulnerable, protecting the tender underside of my soul, and gently reminding me of who I am, until I am able to find the truth again for myself. I, in turn, do the same when they are in need.

It’s not easy to find such a friend. Like a delicate bonsai tree, a close friendship involves years of nurturing and care for it to mature. The rewards of friendship are well worth the effort, creating a harmonious oneness of soul and spirit, much like a good marriage!

In a world with a population of nearly seven billion people there is no need for long term loneliness. One need only be cautious and open, like an expensive jewelry store, and patiently mingle with the people brought across your path.

I have found that having somebody to laugh with when life tickles me, push me forward when I'm facing a mountain, and hold my hand when I'm sick, is irreplaceable. This great big world becomes a much better place to live….when shared with a friend.

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