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Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tantrum Yoga

A friend of mine talked me into joining a beginner’s Yoga class with her, so I in turn cornered my friend Susan and bullied her into going too. For some reason I felt I needed numbers to do this because everyone knows…..there is safety in numbers!
This was a huge step for me because I hadn’t engaged in any real exercise for a couple of years, unless you counted my frequent trips to the refrigerator and the bathroom.
My knowledge of Yoga was zero, and except for the mental visual I had of Gandhi sitting sedately in the Lotus position, I was clueless.
The entire concept sounded, well….boring. I like dancing around, shaking my giblets to hard driving music. In my mind the prospect of going to a Yoga class was the equivalent of going to exercise church.
This was an early evening class, so I was forced to eat my dinner on the road, woofing down a steak and bean burrito that my husband had lovingly prepared for me.
I met the girls in the parking lot so we could all walk in together.
The room was quite pleasant, decorated in an eastern style, with the slightest scent of bamboo lingering in the air. The floor was draped with yoga mats of various colors, like towels on the beach, and an exotic instrumental was being mysteriously piped in from somewhere….maybe heaven.
We found a corner of the room with space enough for us to spread our mats. An easy task for most people, but we fumbled and bumped into each other, giggling like fools and fitting in like Larry, Moe, and Curly.
The room was crowded with poker faced women all in various stages of stretching. I eyed Susan, and mouthed over to her: “We don’t belong here.” She intentionally ignored me while gracefully assuming the mad cow position. Traitor. Sitting nervously on my pink mat, with my chubby legs painfully crossed Indian style, waiting for the class to begin, I felt the first burrito bubble seeking the easiest exit. Never again! Yup.


Brad Jaeger said...

I don't have anything insightful to add, I just wanted to let you know that the picture is hilarious!

L.C. Griffith said...

Thanks Brad. I checked out your blog and found it very intersting. What kind of stuff do you write?

Brad Jaeger said...

Primarily dark fantasy. I'm about halfway through my first draft of a new WIP that I'd like to complete by the end of November, before moving onto revisions in the new year :)

I take it you won't be headed back for more yoga classes? :p

L.C. Griffith said...

Sounds interesting. I love fantasy but doubt I have the imagination to write it. I would love to read something of yours. Do you have it posted on your blog? I suck at navigating this site.
I love writing and have managed to finish my first novel. I'm currently cutting out 20k words...not easy as I love my words, but I get my knife out and bloody it on them. Oh well, the result will hopefully be good.
And you are more Yoga, perhaps kick boxing.

Corinne Rodrigues said...

This is hilarious but doesn't go down well with an Indian woman who is about to undertake a journey in to nature cure in two weeks time...lots of yoga, absolute vegetarian diet and hold your breath, enemas! Coming? :))

JANU said...

Yoga isn't bad if you have the mindset for it. I have done it and yes, it relaxes you a lot, stretching makes your body supple...etc. What I could not do was meditation or the breathing exercises. I cannot sit at one place. Well it is all about mind control but, what can one do if you don't have the mind in the first place?
A delightful post.

Leah Griffith said...

Yeah Corinne, this is an oldie but a goodie, my first yoga experience. LOL!! Good luck with your natural cures...I'll be praying for you too. I enjoy yoga was those burritos!

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Janu, Actually I have learned to appreciate yoga since this first attempt at it. I doubt I could do the meditation thing for a any long periods of time although I honestly haven't tried.
Thanks for your post!

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