Monday, January 16, 2012
Beware of Dumbass Choices
So, today I’m just going to ramble on about what ever. I just deleted an entire page of writing and it felt amazing. It was as though I was God and I was erasing a paragraph in Genesis that I felt was a little wordy. Okay maybe that’s a bit heady, how about deleting a rainy day or a traffic jam. Wouldn’t it be great if we could do that in real life? Erase the crap.
“Oh hey! This sucks, I think I’ll delete it.” PRESTO! Suddenly the sun is shining again, and the traffic parts for you like the Red Sea.
Sometimes I think I spend half of my life trying to avoid mistakes. That and dodging long-winded people in grocery lines; I’m a magnet for the socially starved. Unfortunately life isn’t a keyboard and bad choices are a lot like tattoos; initially it’s fun picking out the design, but then one must face the needles, risk of infection, and the reality of waking up for the rest of your life with an eternal doodle on your favorite body part. I’m not saying that tattoos are bad but they are indelible and I think if we had to get a tattoo each time we made a choice we would be a lot more cautious with our decision making.
Lets say for each good choice we make we would be given a Master Artist like Michelangelo to design and engrave the tattoo, but for each foolish choice we make we would be given, Bronson, (who I will introduce you to shortly) or be forced to give ourselves a tattoo (with the wrong hand).
First you have the major tattoos (choices). The ones you commit an important body part to. Getting married or having kids are examples of major tattoos. These are the ones you’re most proud of, unless of course the marriage is bad, and then you might want to refer back to paragraph one on deleting the crap, which of course is impossible. Wearing a long sleeve shirt might help but most people get the marriage tattoo on their faces, that being the most important body part. Pancake make-up might hide it a little but eventually most people wind up paying a fortune to have their marriage tattoos removed.
Next you have the embarrassing tattoos (choices). These are the choices you made in haste, or when you were drunk, tired, depressed, impressed or simply pressed. These tattoos were done by an artist (and I use that term loosely) named, Bronson, with whiskey breath and hands the size of honey-glazed hams. Of course you’re so toasted that Bronson looks competent and like-able, so you agree to let him doodle a charming Chinese symbol on the base of your spine that’s supposed to say Wisdom, but it really says, Dumbass. So now you’re stuck with Dumbass inked on the base of your spine and you’ll be forever tugging your shirt down over it and praying that nobody reads Chinese.
Finally we have the little tattoos (choices). The ones you almost need a microscope to find. The ladies choice is usually a heart the size of a Spaghetti-O on the ankle and for the men we have the ever-popular Love inked on the knuckles. These are usually self-inflicted during the turbulent teens… And ugly! I have two of such tattoos, but thankfully they are so tiny that nobody ever notices them.
Each day we make dozens of small choices, which seem insignificant at the time, but over a lifetime they often become the foundation for our larger choices. This is why it’s important to be wise with all the choices that we make because in the end our lives can either reflect the beauty of the Sistine Chapel or a Men’s room wall. “For a good time call…"
The moral of this blog is quite simple. One mustn’t doodle on oneself.
Posted by Leah Griffith at 9:49 AM