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Saturday, October 8, 2011

Warts Wrong With You?


I was thinking about genuine beauty the other day, and how, being human, we all have imperfections, or as some call them...warts. Yet it’s those very warts that we’ve been taught to despise that can often be endearing…even charming. I had a boyfriend once who had a thin scar across his top lip. Instead of viewing this as a flaw, I saw it as sexy as hell, giving him a bad boy persona which sent shivers down my spine. Unfortunately our society has trained us to hide our warts…to be ashamed of them.

There are different categories of warts; some are really obvious because they appear on the outside of us, like: extra pounds, crooked teeth, wrinkles, and birth marks. We nip, suction, bleach, and snip at our imperfections hoping to come as close to perfect as possible. But is all this really necessary? I think that we’re missing out on appreciating what makes us unique. Since when did beauty marks turn into moles? I have one on my back that’s a dead ringer for W.C. Fields that I’ve been dying to show off!

Our society worships beauty and youth. Get a look at any magazine cover and you’ll see them praising the gorgeous and humiliating the homely. Of course these beauties, whose faces shine with glossy perfection from their supermarket marquees, inspiring us to feel plainer than unbuttered toast, have all been Photo-Shopped from the top of their shiny foreheads all the way down to their bumpy bottoms.

We humans have been around for like a gazillion years battling zits, dental decay, wrinkles, and finally succumbing to death, so you’d think by now we would have learned how to embrace our imperfections. But no, instead we worship youth and beauty…what most of us don’t have, and none of us can keep. Duh! What kind of message are we sending to our kids?



Now for the other type of wart that many of us wrestle with; it is officially known as the Fatigo Wart, but most of us are more familiar with its common street name, the worry wart. Worry warts are the most versatile of warts in that they cover just about anything which may, or may not, go wrong in our lives. They cause us to worry about everything from the apocalypse to bankruptcy, foreclosure to insanity, then onwards to unemployment and finally zymosis (which ironically is the development and spread of an infectious disease caused by a fungus).

Worry warts reside between our ears and have the power to scare the ever loving crap out of us without anything bad ever actually happening. One sign that your young child might have worry warts is if he/she has a preoccupation with the Boogie Man. In teenagers symptoms may manifest themselves in paranoid feelings that nobody likes them, which in turn may lead to body piercing, filthy bedrooms, and excessive back talking.

Worry warts are harder to detect in adults. By this age most people have found clever ways to camouflage the symptoms until they honestly believe that they don’t have them any more. Here is a little check list to see if you might be infected with worry warts. Have you found yourself:

1. Returning home just to check if you locked the door.
2. Spending outrageous amounts of energy trying to please everybody.
3. Stockpiling food for the end times.
4. Repeatedly asking your friends if they’re mad at you.
5. Running background checks on all of your neighbors.

Although worry warts are among the most common of fungi, and the most simple to treat, millions of people still suffer from their effects. If you happen to be one of these people, don’t worry…oops! My bad;)

Anyway, I did a little bit of research so that I could give you an easy to follow plan on how to cure your worry warts. This is what I’ve come up with.

A. Believe in the good stuff instead of the bad stuff; it requires the same amount of energy.
B. Live happily ever after.

Join me next time folks when I will be lecturing on tape worm infestation and how it impacts the fashion industry.

ELR accepts no liability for the consequences of any actions taken on the basis of the information provided, unless that information is subsequently confirmed in blood on October 31st at 1313 Mockingbird Lane. Although ELR has taken reasonable precautions to ensure no worry warts are present in this post, ELR cannot accept responsibility for any ulcers or nervous break downs arising from worry warts.




30 comments:

Bongo said...

I have had those annoying skin wort's..and survived....i Live with psychological wort's and don't see survival ...wish I did..funny how everyone has some kind of wort...As always...XOXOXOX

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Bongo, it's tough to see survival when you're in the middle of things. Emotional survival is an ongoing process; one moment at a time. I've died a thousand times emotionally, but then remarkably I've woken up the next day and lived some more.
XOXO

JANU said...

Loved the disclaimer at the end of your blog.
Today, the beauty and the cosmetic industry is thriving because people are obsessed with beauty and perfection, while we fail to perfect our insides rather than our outside.
As for worry...it is a part and parcel of one's life, only we should not let it get us down.
Nice post as always.

Ravenmyth said...

First of all the video was perfect for this post...you wove the frailties of the human condition perfectly and then brought humour into play...you are right about our society..it worships the illusion of beauty and youth..if we could only embrace and love all the warts and inperfections within humanity...and yes, what are we afraid of...and why do we worry...when did we forget that every soul came to this world as a beautiful innocent baby...when did we stop seeing the beauty and begin to judge...when did we begin to believe we were no longer good enough...( I guess when we stopped believing in ourselves) I love the phrase " I am perfect as I am and everything in the universe is working towards my ultimate good"...great post Leah...very well written..and even in the sadness of life's warts...you reminded us to laugh at the obserdity of ourselves...

Leah Griffith said...

Thank you Janu. I'm always amazed at how much attention is paid to the outside of our vessels, and then we fail to fill these vessels with anything worthy. It's so sad really.
It's good to see you Janu. Have a fabulous day!

Leah Griffith said...

Good Morning Raven, When I wrote this post I held back on so many things I wanted to say, but then this post would have probably turned into a book.
You summed it up with your quote, " I am perfect as I am and everything in the universe is working towards my ultimate good"
We so easily believe the bad things about ourselves. It's time to start believing the good.
XO

Jessica M said...

Internal warts can be more attractive to aesthetically to the superficial eye, but much more damaging than exterior ones! I have come across many worry warts..and they can be very draining!I have to admit...I am quite paroid about leaving my door unlocked...but at least I'm not stockpiling food up for the end times! Yet! ;) j.k.!

Leah Griffith said...

LOL! Right Jessica! Yeah the worry warts lead to depletion of the spirit...draining us of our life energy. They tend to sneak up on us when we least expect it;) Thanks for stopping by Jessica!!

Brooke said...

I just love it over here, Leah. Love how you put things together, and the way you handle topics. There is something rising up from the deep in me (as is often the case) that is telling me how important all of our voices are in writing, speaking or singing about this topic, in whatever way, until it rattles us, or makes us laugh with abandon, until this framework of shame-cage can no longer contain us, and we can break out and hold one another, warts and all--realizing, like you said, that our 'defects' were our greatest strengths and interest. Left you a follow up comment on my blog! XO to you!

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Brooke, it seems the older I get the more verbal I am becoming on this topic. When I was young I didn’t worry about being judged by appearance because…well, I was young and good looking. Now that my age is starting to show and a few extra pounds have been added to my frame, I’ve noticed a real shift in how people view me.
This message is so important. Actually there are two messages here, one dealing with the exterior and the other the interior. Both are equally important in that they undermine our ability to see who we really are and what we’re supposed to be doing here.
I love your voice Brooke and I’m so thankful to have met you. There is a nakedness to your writing that allows the reader to become naked too, thus allowing a genuine exchange to take place. We need to continue with our words and work, together and apart, and hopefully we will make a difference and pull some souls from the darkness.
XO right back at you!

Cheryl P. said...

I am behind in my reading and am just now getting over to your post. What a great message about the lack of acceptance of our "supposed" imperfections. Our culture has gotten so off target in thinking that there is just a one size fits all version of what is attractive. AND the 2 big components of that is young and thin. I hate that different isn't generally recognized as a positive thing.

Great post.

Reiza said...

Haha! I love the humor in this post. And I found myself nodding enthusiastically with each paragraph. I probably won't have much to say because I agree with just about everything. But I want to thank you for sharing this. It came at exactly the right time when I needed someone to tell me to relax and "live happily every after." :)

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Cheryl, I agree. The media pumps this crap out and everyone falls under its spell. Oh well...we know the truth.

Leah Griffith said...

Reiza, I'm soooo glad that it lifted your spirits. After reading your post I really wanted to reach out to you. Have an amazing week. I'll be following you!

sulekkha said...

Fantastic post and love your solutions, my fav is
"Believe in the good stuff instead of the bad stuff; it requires the same amount of energy."
Enjoyed your post, thanks for sharing.

Debbie Maxwell Allen said...

Love your take on life, Leah! You're always refreshing. I've got a football-shaped birthmark on my back--even though I'm not into sports! Thanks for the reminder about worry-warts. Loved it!

~Debbie

Leah Griffith said...

Thank you Sulekkha! I'm glad that you enjoyed it. Thanks for stopping in!

Leah Griffith said...

Debbie, I love football! LOL!! Actually my daughter has roped me in to watching all the Patriot's games with her;) The scary thing is that I'm starting to enjoy them!
It's always good to see you Debbie, thanks for posting.
XO

Savira Gupta said...

Enjoyed reading your post... It has a surprise element which I love. Following you

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Savira, Thank you for stopping by. I'm thrilled that you came. I also stopped by your blog. Very inspirational. I'm now following;)
XO
Leah

Martha J. M. Orlando said...

Leah, this is the first time I've seen your blog here and I love it! The humor in your writing is phenomenal and helps to make the medicine go down smoothly on what could be a touchy subject for so many.
As a recovering worry wart, I was most gratified by your take on this.
Bravo for such an entertaining read!
Blessings!

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Martha! Yes, I too am a recovering worry wart. I seem to backslide so easily at times. Thank you for checking out the blog. I'm thrilled that you enjoyed it;)

Susan Deborah said...

Liked the hyperbole on warts. SOmetimes I have 'wart' days when everything appears magnified and on other days, I don't much care.

Life goes on.

Joy always,
Susan

Dangerous Linda said...

Hi, Leah! --

Love the name of your site. Real attention-grabber!

Funny and inspiring -- two of my favorite things in a blog ;-)

I'm glad I took the time to watch the video. Very moving.

Thank you!

Leah Griffith said...

Susan, that is so true! Funny how what we focus on has the ability to take things over. We are a hot mess at times.
Peace!

Leah Griffith said...

Hi Linda! I just returned from your site. What a blast! I love your energy and lust for life.
I just came off a long seriousness spree...sometimes we forget to laugh, but I can see that laughter is a big part of who you are. Do me a favor? Slap me if I get too serious. LOL!!

Marie from Rock The Kasbah said...

Love this post. I've always wondered what's wrong with me, now I'm starting to worry... And what IF that prominent mole on my cheek that I've always had and hated is some kind of super slow malignant skin cancer? What if I don't find out for another 41 years and just stress about it? Oh hell, the stress will give me a heart attack before I find that out...

Marie from Rock The Kasbah said...

I've always wondered what's wrong with me. Now I'm worried. What if that prominent mole on my cheek is some kind of slow malignant skin cancer? What if I don't find out that it is for another 41 years? I'll be so stressed out about it I'll probably die from a heart attack first wondering if it was or wasn't...

Leah Griffith said...

LOL!! Marie, that is the epitome of how we think...very Woody Allen;)

Jayne said...

LOL, Leah! I have to admit, I've actually driven back home to check if closed the garage door. I think I am on the fray of Fatigo Warts!

"Plainer than unbuttered toast"--I love that. And what's so wrong with unbuttered toast anyway, you plastic, wartless manequin looking poster person?

Doesn't that irk you no end? These are not real women! It's a crime against feminism. Takes us back fifty years or more. Meh. ;)

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